The purpose of all the US’s surveillance is to gather data on how many spiders crawl into an American citizen’s mouth in a year.
- Teacher: How much is a gram?
- Me: Shit, Depends on what you want..
One time a guy told me his long island was too strong.
You’re drinking a large cup of liquor with a drop of Pepsi idk how special u think that’s gonna taste.
I also judge people who won’t drink rail vodka in their bloody Mary.
I judge everybody who orders a long island iced tea.
Accidentally kissed a stranger.
It started out with an oldies song and a hard hit to the nads.
Somebody cut me off from social media. He’s too good and he makes me stupid and I’m about to make a fool of myself.